Feeling Lonely Quotes

how to find joy in hard times

By birth we humans are social beings and we always want someone to be with us. We have thousands of friends in our social network, but in reality friends you can really count on are very rare. Loneliness is a very depressing situation and there are many quotes about being lonely. So, let us see some of these feeling lonely quotes in this article.

“In life, you cannot always be strong. Sometimes you just need to be lonely, to cry out your fears and worries. At other times, it helps just to let be what you cannot change.”

There is no point in putting up a strong face when you are hurt. Sometimes, it is a good idea to be alone and let ourselves out.

“There are two ways I deal with loneliness. One, I look at the stars. Unlike people, the stars are always there for me. Two, I close my eyes for a while and focus on the people I love. They always make me feel I am not alone.”

The best way to deal with loneliness is to think about your loved one. You can also gaze at stars and wonder how small our feelings are compared to this beautiful universe.

“We need solitude. Because when we’re alone, we’re free from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts.”

Loneliness helps us to hear our own thoughts and also helps in understanding ourselves.

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”

When you understand yourself, you understand the world. So, sometimes it is best to be alone.

“I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”

You have to understand that you are stronger than any circumstances, you can win any situation and nothing can ever destroy you.

“The hardest walk is walking alone, but it’s also the walk that makes you the strongest”

Walking alone makes you stronger and gives you a clear path to success.

“To find peace, sometimes you have to be willing to lose the connection with the people, places, and things that create all the noise in your life.”

Being alone can give you a different perception to life and gives you a peaceful mindset. Sometimes it is a necessity to be alone to take important decisions in your life.

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.”

If you want to be successful in your goals, you have to embrace loneliness and being alone sets you apart from the flocks of sheep.

“Sometimes it is necessary to be lonely in order to prove that you are right.”

It is always harder to make right decisions and sometimes it becomes a necessity to accept loneliness when you make one.

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.”

When you are aware about the hardships faced by people who strive for truth, then being alone does not affect you.

“The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely.”

Loneliness can make you skillful in your professional life and can make you exceptional wherever you are.

“Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.”

Being alone make your perception to life much more appealing and enables you to appreciate even small things in life like sunsets and smell of night air.

Conclusion

Although being alone is one of the hardest thing to experience in our life, from the above quotes we can see that there are also many positives of being alone. I hope these feeling lonely quotes will help you overcome this loneliness and use it to your advantage !

Boyfriend Quotes to Spice Up Your Love

Is your love reaching that mundane point where your boyfriend is losing interest on you day by day? The below quotes can help you revive up the feelings within your boyfriend to spice up your love. Quotes can convey deeper messages within few sentences, so these quotes can be of great help to make your love stronger.

Good morning my love, our two souls aflame, with my man I feel two hearts beat the same. 

When you are with your boyfriend your heart beats synchronize with each other and you tend to be nearer together.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. 

Your love is based on the fact that you are  a better person, when you are with your boyfriend.

It’s been said that you only truly fall in love once, but I don’t believe it. Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again!

Every time you see your boyfriend, your love tends to grow stronger. It is like falling in love again and again, there is no end to this feeling.

Before I met you I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason.

When you are in love you tend to do strange things like smiling for no reason and being happy without any cause. These emotions can be experienced only by people who fallen in love.

I love you a lot and what i have accomplished till day is just because of your love.

Whatever you are right now is because of your boyfriend. He is your major motivational factor in achieving great things in your life.

I feel like you’re so much more than just my boyfriend. You’re the one person I need to talk to when I’ve had a bad day, the one person I can rely on not to judge me. You’re my rock, my sweetheart, my best friend. To call you just my boyfriend, would hardly give you justice.

Your boyfriend’s role in your life is more than you think, he is also your best friend and your rock-solid support.

After all this time, you’re still incredible. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.

Time cannot fade your love, even after long time of being together you still feel the same like the first time.

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart. 

When you are deep in love words are not necessary to convey your thoughts. 

Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think… Damn, he is one lucky man.

Your boyfriend is too lucky to have you in his life.

I choose you. And I’ll choose you over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

There is no second thoughts when it comes to falling in love with your boyfriend again.

Let’s cuddle, so I can steal your body heat

Yearning for your boyfriend’s warmth within his arms.

You have made my heart brighter than the brightest candle. Thank you for being in my heart and completing me.

Your boyfriend has made your life much happier and you would love to show that gratitude to him.

Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.

Your love story is the best story ever and is always your favorite.

This is a saying that this type of love is only once in life. And I say for me that one is you. My today and tomorrow is all for you. Love you from the depth of my heart and soul.

This quote expresses the strength of love you have for your boyfriend, your love never fades and deep within your soul.

I know that God has opted some special person for me, I have no need to search him because I have found him. I love you and will continuously do.

Your boyfriend is the best gift the god has ever given to you and you cherish holding it dear to your life.

The above boyfriend quotes can be used to express your unconditional love to your boyfriend. Using these quotes in your life can help you to express your love and make your bond stronger.

Best Sad Quotes That Will Make You Cry

We always love for happiness in our lives and most of the time we forget the value of being sad. Sadness gives us the reality of being alive and helps us decipher someones pain from their shoes. There is even the Pixar movie “Inside out” that deal with the subject of sadness and how it make us feel better and overcome life’s challenges. So let us see some of the best sad quotes that can bring out our inner feelings and can possibly make us cry.

“It’ sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.”

The above quote reminds us that nothing is permanent in our world and many a times the people we loved with our heart could become just a memory.

“Sometimes you’ve got to be able to listen to yourself and be okay with no one else understanding.”

We can understand from the above quote that not many people would understand our thoughts and most of the time we should travel alone.

“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.”

It is always best to release the burden from our heart and the best way to do that would be to cry out loud.

“The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.”

It is not always true of what we see, sometimes the most depressed are the own who wear the smiling mask.

“We all create fictions to hide our pain”

Day dreams can give us just a momentary happiness and we all do that to escape from our pain.

“Crying alone does not show that you are weak but it shows that you are strong.”

Our general perception is that crying is for the weak and people who are strong don’t cry. But the reality is completely the opposite.

“Just because someone desires you, doesn’t mean they value you.”

Most of the times, people you choose don’t value your character.

“There is one pain, I often feel, which you will never know. It’s caused by the absence of you.”

This quote tries to explain the situation when someone leaves us and doesn’t understand the level of pain we feel.

“It’s terrible to lose someone we love, but it’s even worse to lose ourselves while loving them”

This is one of the worst feeling and it becomes pretty hard to get back to our senses once we lose ourselves.

“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”

Bottling up pain within ourselves would make the pain larger than it was initially. It is always better to cry out loud when we feel pain.

“Time can’t heal your emotional pain if you don’t learn how to let go.”

We might think that we will become all-right as time goes by, but the reality is we have to let go of the thoughts that keeps us depressed.

“The invisible wounds are more dangerous than the bleeding wounds.”

The wounds that are caused within ourselves is more dangerous than the outer wounds that just bleeds.

“Tears are words the mouth can’t say nor can the heart bear.”

Tears are let out when our heart is unable to cope with the pain.

“Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair.”

The level of pain we incur from being far from the person we love is worse than death.

“When you feel like you’ve had it up to here, and you’re mad enough to scream, but you’re sad enough to tear, that’s rock bottom.”

This quote perfectly explains the lowest point in one’s life, at this point the emotions are way out of control.

“So sick of pretending that everything is all right because it’s not.”

This is a situation that we can all relate to, it is always hard to pretend to be happy when we are actually depressed. Sometimes it’s best to not even try to pretend, but let it flow out.

“So it’s true when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”

Most of the time love comes at a price and that price is grief.

“It’s amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.”

The reality is it is harder to hate someone you love even when they hate you.

So, from the above sad quotes we can see that we should recognize the sadness we feel in our hearts.

We all have inner feelings that we have to let out in some form. That’s perfectly normal and even healthy. You have to share these feelings with someone you can trust. Letting the pressure out is extremely important and you shouldn’t feel bad about letting sadness come out.

Best Good Morning Messages for Friend

Our Life is sweeter and happier when surrounded by good friends. Many a times it becomes hard to find that right message to send to  your friend in the morning. So, let us see in these articles the list of best good morning messages for your friend.

Happy Good Morning My friend. I hope you have an amazing day. May your worries and fears be non-existent. May People see how amazing you are. GOOD MORNING

Expressing to your friend that there is not need to fear for the thing that is not going to happen.

Don’t give up. There are too many nay-sawyers out there who will try to discourage you. Don’t listen to them. The only one who can make you give up is yourself. Good Morning!

You should not give heed to naysayer and you should strive for your success with your best effort.

You can’t achieve the profound things by sitting on your couch. Brace yourself, set goals, and have a superb good morning!

Sitting idle is not the answer to become successful in life, for that to happen you have to take action and achieve your goals.

I wish you sunshine and rainbows. Birds that sing and hope that soar. May all your wishes and dreams come true and happiness fill your heart. Good Morning!

Wishing your friend the best day with good luck.

You are my light in a dark night. You are my sunshine every morning. I wish you pass good a day and get all the success that’s you want. Good Morning!

Expressing to your friend that he is a major part in your life and you also wish him to succeed in his goals each day.

Good morning! I hope that your day will be fine and you will not get stuck in traffic like yesterday.

This message is more in the jovial type where a little bit of banter can lighten up the mood of your friend.

Each day brings new opportunities, those who start their day early, grab them before others. Good Morning!

Motivates your friend to not to miss the opportunities and to act with full energy.

Your dreams are now real, something you see with open eyes in the full light so wake up because you have a lot to achieve and a lot more to dream. Good morning!

With this message you can wish your friend to wake up from his dream and to achieve success by following his goals.

A very good morning to you may this day bring a healthy light upon you and you are energized to stay positive for the whole day. Smile the day has just started!

This message helps your friend to keep a positive face the whole day.

Well, who needs a sunrise when I have you by my side. You are the sunrise I would always want to wake up by seeing you. Good morning!

This message showcases the bonding you have with your friend and you are very much looking forward to meet your friend each morning.

Good Morning! Today is the future that we worried about yesterday. See, it’s not so bad. Here’s to a happy day.

This message wishes your friend a happy in a plain and simple manner.

Good Morning! Every day, you are given a choice. You can either become a better version of yourself, and do something that will make yourself and your life better, or you do nothing, stay still, not evolve, not become better, but I have to remind you, that being average, being the same as you were yesterday, will eventually start a downward spiral. So come on. What will it be?

This message is more of an advice to your friend to instill the reality of life. This helps your friend to make the right choice to succeed in life.

Welcome to a new day! Grab it, relish it, and enjoy it. 

Wishing your friend a new day in a simple way.

Conclusion

The above messages can help your friend to get motivated each day to achieve in life. These messages also strengthen your bond with your friend.

How to Define Success, what is it and how to get it?

Success is often a term which we hear on day-to-day basis and it is also one which every human strives for. But, is there a common definition for success? 

Definition of success is different for different people and there are many reasons for it. Let us see in this article about the term success in an objective and as well as in a subjective manner.

Success Definition

To understand more about the term success, we have to first understand whether it can be viewed by different people through a single lens:

The need for success is different for different people and it is based on the following needs.

  1. We need to eat food to be healthy.
  2. We need a home for shelter.
  3. We need love to grow our own family.
  4. We need to have clothes to get recognized and to be secure.
  5. We need a proper mental health to go through the nuances of this world.
  6. We need to find the work we love and have passion for.

Success is viewed in a different way by people with different needs. For many people living day-to-day lives by satisfying all the above needs is itself a success.  

Role of Money

Money can solve almost all needs, other than love and health. So money is very important to lead successful life.

Money is actually a good thing and it gives you freedom of choice in things you want. Money also helps in maintaining a healthy life. 

So can we say if we have accumulated wealth then we are successful. No, that cannot be said.

But, we can surely say that there is no way to lead a successful life without money.

Greed vs Contentment

We should also make sure that our needs are limited and achievable. So, that there is high probability of achieving what we want.

But, we should also make sure that we should not be content and lose the point of living. We should strive for a balance between contentment and greed to keep us motivated.

Sharing what we have

We all think that sharing helps the other person who is receiving the thing. But in my experience sharing helps the giver more than the receiver. 

If we have a chance to make change to other life in a positive way then we should take it. Sharing gives peace to our mind and gives unconditional love to our heart. These two things are mandatory to lead a successful life.

Conclusion

So by reading my above viewpoint on success you might have come to an understanding on what I am really trying to explain here.

Success is nothing to lead a happy life till our death, but it is practically not possible if we are adamant about all our needs.

So to have a successful life we have to compromise on some of our needs that cannot be achieved. We have to focus on the ones we have and the ones which we can achieve.

When is the right time to start (and how to get started!)

Whenever we are faced with a difficult task to complete, we always try to postpone it to later. Postponing the task gives us a temporary relief from doing the task, but we always forget that it’ll only get harder and harder to start the task later. And I’m not even talking about the stress of being late! So, let’s discuss in detail on how to overcome this habit, complete our work, and finally how to get started!

Waiting for the Right Time

We always think that we have unlimited time to do our work. In our brain, there is even a false idea that if it’s doesn’t need to be done right now, it doesn’t need to be done at all. This is because, in general, our brain tends to favor instant gratification (not doing the task) over longer term gratification (the task is done correctly).

So instinctively, we tend to wait for the right time to start. It’s a way of removing the painfull idea that it’s our own fault if the task isn’t going to be done. That way, we are just left with the idea that we don’t have to do it at all and are happy with it.

In the short term, I have to agree that we can be happy not doing anything. In fact it’s important to have times where we don’t do anything. However, if not done responsibly, this can lead to serious issues in our life. Issues that will lead to depression, stress and anxiety. We can even stress so much that we will not even enjoy anymore the time were we arn’t doing anything.

So, before this get out of hand, we better start right away right?

Waiting for the right time is just and excuse. There will almost never be a perfect right time for anything. And even if this perfect time exists, you’ll probably miss it or recognize it once it’s too late. Do you really want to take the risk of waiting for something that will probably never happen? Only to miss it? Is your long term happyness and goals that unimportant that you are ready to bet them on just timing?

Do you really want to take the risk of waiting for something that will probably never happen? Only to miss it?

So we should not waste our valuable time by procrastinating the work. Instead, we should start the work instantly and go with the flow. Remember that getting started is the most difficult stage. Once you are over that stage, you can let the flow guide you. You can even envoy the jouney. And most importantly, you’ll feel refreshed that you finally have DONE the most difficult thing: get started!

Once you got that idea that getting started is a good thing, then you have done 90% of the work! Congratulation!

Continue reading this article, and I’ll propose you some techniques that will help you cover the remaining 10% and start your journey to your better life.

How to get started

The 2-minute Rule

This is a good trick to overcome your procrastination, once you get used to 2-minute rule then you can accomplish any task with ease and at the right time. This is basically tricking your mind by making incremental improvements in your task.

You just have to, in your mind, break down your task into smaller tasks and start doing it for just 2 minutes.

For example, you are planning to write a novel. This is overwhelming! Let’s imagine your task for today is to write a sentence. You can just start that for 2 minutes. And here we go, you wrote that sentence, your brain take that as an instant gratification, and now you can work on your next task: writing a second sentence. And before you’ll know it, you’ll be at the 100th page of your brand new novel !

Once you are accustomed to this practice, you can also increase this 2 minutes to 5 minutes or the time you are comfortable with. Start with simple task, even if they doesn’t mean something. All you need is to start!

Productivity Apps

You can also use productivity and task management apps which are available all over the internet to help you with your tasks. Using an app can also help you with tracking your progress in the completion of the task. We also recommend taking a look at our Best productivity apps for 2021!

Writing down tasks to be done on the app is a task.

The goal of these apps is to overcome the fear of uncertainty. If you don’t feel motivated, not knowing what to do can be an excuse for not doing anything. If an app tell you what need to be done, you just have to pick the first item and use the two minute rule to get it started.

Also, remember that writing tasks to be done on the app IS a task all by itself ! It’s often overlooked but trust me, write that task down and start working on it for 2 minutes. You’ll thank me later.

Benefits of starting early

Gratification is important for everyone. Let’s see what instant gratifications we can achieve by starting right now instead of procrastinating.

Reduction in Stress

Starting the task sooner not only helps you to complete the tasks sooner, it also helps in reducing your stress. If you don’t start, then you will always be thinking about the task and this in turn increases your stress and affects your health.

I’m sure everyone had a time where some task was postponed for so much time that it start to overwhelm our brain every second of life. Even times of rest will become painful !

Recognition

When you start sooner, the quality of work is good and work gets completed at the right time. This improves your relationship with your work peers, but also our self esteem. It also helps in getting promotions at your work place. You’ll get recognized for your work.

Achieve your goals

If you start today working on your goals, you’ll always be nearer your goals tomorrow! Each day will be a little victory and one day, before you’ll know it, you’ll reach your goal and feel accomplished.

So? when is the right time to start?

There is a saying that the best time to start was yesterday, but the second best time to start is tomorrow !

By seeing the above points we can see that solving our procrastination can solve every problem in life. So what are you waiting?

If you still have trouble starting, don’t worry ! This work on yourself take time. But you are better prepared now that you were before reading this article. If you still have doubts on your ability to start, let’s meet again on my article how to stop overthinking. I’m sure it’ll help you further!

Is TikTok good or bad for our happiness?

TikTok  is not just an app but a platform to showcase your talent for the sake of fun and entertainment to its users. Earlier, it was known as ‘Musically’ the Chinese app TikTok  has gained a lot of attention in a very short period of time. Its popularity has spread among the youngsters and teenagers like an addiction from which people have got so much influenced. 

Nowadays, TikTok  has become a major part of people’s life to let them gain popularity over the internet and experience new things. There are many creative contents that you’ll find out coming up from all over the world. 

This app doesn’t just restrict people to enjoy only the funniest videos and for entertainment purpose but also provides many useful things and news that has to be acknowledged. 

Sensational news starts to go viral in no time. It is very easy to share your creative side rather than just making connections to the people like all other social media platforms. 

It impacts people in many ways, it has received many bad presses in recent times and there are also many issues with using TikTok  like promoting dangerous challenges and also allegedly censoring creators. Let us discuss these issues in detail.

Dangerous Challenges: 

There are many challenges in TikTok  that starts going viral, even when it is dangerous.

Many TikTok  users attempt these dangerous challenges and many of those even include children. This results in getting hurt. For example, the penny challenge in which dropping a penny between a phone charger and the wall plug. This challenge went viral in many places and has claimed to start fire resulting in disastrous consequences.

Another challenge called skull breaker challenge, that enables tripping somebody so that they fall and smack their head on the ground. This challenge can probably cause serious injuries to the people. 

Censorship: 

TikTok  has also been alleged in censoring posts. In this past November, a 17-year old girl from New Jersey has alleged that TikTok  has censored her video that was related to the Uighur interment camps in China. Uighurs are a Muslim community who belongs to north western China, the video is made to bring light over these struggling people staying in Uighur internment camps in China. 

Entertainment:

TikTok  is a social media platform for entertainment, it does not limit it’s content to a specific niche. Any user can upload any content through dance and music. 

Almost all users in TikTok  posts their content either by dancing or singing. This helps in getting recognition for their talent and make them popular. 

Most of it’s audience are young in age and post videos based on their interests. This also helps in showcasing their acting skills to the world. There is also term to call these popular users, they are called influencers. Who are even approached by big brands to advertise their products to users.

Privacy & Security: 

In recent times there were also many allegations against TikTok  with respect to security and privacy concerns. TikTok  has been fined by US government for $5.7 million for illegally collecting children’s data.

In October 2019, the U.S. government launched an investigation into ByteDance to find out how the data gathered on TikTok ers of all ages is being used. US senators are worried about the information collected and suspect that it can be used to spy on Americans and can be used to influence political decisions. 

Stranger Danger:  

Although, the community guidelines of TikTok  is deeply committed to child safety and has zero tolerance for behaviour that could lead to child abuse or sexual exploitation. TikTok  has been a place where teen girls receive creepy and actively upsetting messages from many users. 

In recent times, the situation has improved slightly by policy like restricting child user who are under 13 to only view the content and not to share them. 

TikTok  announced a new feature on Feb 19 called family safety mode that allows parents to link to their teen’s accounts in order to curb out their screen time, limit direct messaging and restrict some content that may not be good. But, this feature is only available in UK and is set to launch in all other countries very soon. 

Indecent & Harassing Content

This is one of the major disadvantage for TikTok  users. Many users in TikTok  use it as a platform to spread their prejudice ideas which targets certain sections of the people.

Many videos are done just to harass and discriminate people on the basis of color, race or religion. Also, indecent and inappropriate content which could be criminal in nature if it is done in public gets popularity in TikTok .

Addiction

Another major con of using TikTok  is the addiction that the platform brings with it. TikTok  users get addicted to it in such a way that it even starts affecting their day-to-day life.

There are many users who use this platform even during work and driving. This not only affect their performance in work, it can also cause accidents when used while driving.

Career

Not all is bad with TikTok , Some influencers are genuine who have build their career out of it. There are many examples like Loren Gray, Jacob Sartorius and Ariel Martin who have build their career through TikTok   made and also transitioned to other media platforms like YouTube and Spotify

Not only in music, many other users in other careers as well started growing their business with the help of TikTok . TikTok  provides huge fan following users in a short span of time and it can be used in a positive manner to add value to the society. 

Conclusion:

Now coming to our initial question whether TikTok  is bad or good, we have to view this with a larger viewpoint. Although TikTok  can be used to build ones career and get instant publicity. But, still it doesn’t add much value to the common user. Instead it seems to be filled with bigotry, inappropriate content and harassment.

As there is a saying “Prevention is better than cure”, we are better off without using TikTok rather than using it.

Is Facebook good or Bad for our Happiness

According to google Facebook has more than 2.45 billion users around the world. Facebook has changed the way we interact and socialize with other people. 

Facebook is not only a social media platform, there are also many other features in Facebook like marketplace, groups, pages and many more. So, it is very important to discuss about the pros and cons on using Facebook.

Connections

Facebook helps in making friends and share your day-to-day life events with your friends. You can also have updates on what your friends are doing in their life.

This helps in maintaining connections with your friends for a long time. Even after many years you can contact your childhood friend with just a single message.

Users also get options to mark themselves safe during times of disaster like floods or earthquake.

At the same time Facebook also allows strangers to send unsolicited messages to people. This in-turn leads people to get scammed or harassed.

Privacy

This is the major concern for Facebook users for a long time. Facebook has been caught in the Cambridge Analytica scandal, through which more than 87 million Facebook users data has been compromised. FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has also imposed a $5 billion dollar fine to solve these privacy concerns.

Now Facebook seems to have taken a lot of measures in solving these privacy issues. So if you can go through it’s settings you can control the data you want to share with the world.

It also works the other way around, lack of privacy on our friends lives can lead to jealousy and resentment on our side, which will definitely make us unhappy if you let these thoughts wander.

Addiction & Waste Of Time

Facebook can also be addictive for users who are using it frequently. It becomes very hard to not login into your Facebook your account every day.

Improper usage of Facebook can also result in wastage of your valuable time. So you have to limit it’s usage and you have to use it only when it does not affect your work.

Facebook Groups

Facebook groups can be very helpful in many cases, you can find people with similar interest as you in any field. There are also groups to search for jobs, through which you can also find work. Using Facebook groups wisely can help you learn many things related to your interest.

There are both public groups and private groups, public groups are much more eventful when compared to private groups. But, in private groups there is higher level of probability in meeting people with similar interests. There is also less number of spam posts in private groups compared to groups which are public.

Grow Your Business

Facebook Ads can be used to advertise your business at an affordable cost. Still Facebook seems to be the cheapest medium to acquire customers for businesses.

You can target your customers using different options and can showcase your ads to them. There are many internet businesses which are running successfully solely based on Facebook ads.

Facebook Marketplace

Facebook marketplace is a new feature released by Facebook through which you can list your product or services for sale. Right now there are thousands of products listed on Facebook’s marketplace.

As a user, it is also easier to find products at a cheaper price.

Facebook marketplace works more like a second-hand marketplace, where most of it’s transaction are between it’s users. We should also be careful on not getting scammed, since Facebook does not provide secure services like Amazon. 

The probability of getting scammed or getting a defective product is higher in Facebook marketplace compare to popular E-commerce websites.

Updated News

Like Twitter, Facebook is also a medium to get your news updates. There are many news pages in facebook where news gets updated instantly and you can like and subscribe to the pages based on your region of interests.

Nowadays you get to see only news feeds in your Facebook account, Since many Facebook users are not updating their status.

To conclude

Although there is still not a straight answer to whether Facebook is good or not. We can come to an understanding that using Facebook wisely has many advantages and there are ways to reduce it’s disadvantages. But these disadvantages must be kept in check regarding our overall happiness.

So, we can conclude by saying that Facebook or any social media platform is good if used wisely. And as with everything, if something doesn’t make you happy, then just leave it behind !

Best productivity apps for 2021

We all have equal 24 hours each day, but without a good organization, we may not be able to achieve our full potential in the different tasks we have to perform in our day-to-day life. However, we can solve this issue by finding simple way to increase our productivity.

No matter if you are on android, iOS, ipad, or any other platform, here is a list of different apps in the market to help us solve this issue. Let us see which are the best ones among them.

Trello Review

If you want to plan your own tasks in advance, or are running a small team of freelancers, Trello could be a very good choice for your tasks. It has a good user-friendly interface which is easy to learn and use. Signing up is also pretty easy, you can sign up with just your email and start using it instantly.

The interface is designed in a card format, and you can separate the tasks in the form of cards. You can give your cards a label as well as a due date. A reminder is configurable, so you can remind yourself when it’ll matter the most to you. There is also free plan through which you can create up to 10 boards and unlimited cards. If you need more, or need advanced synchronisation across multiple accounts, then you can choose their business class plan or enterprise plan.

Todoist Review

Todoist is more suitable for individual usage and it’s interface is more similar to Gmail. You can add and schedule your tasks with just few steps. You can give priorities to your tasks and as well as create sub-tasks and sections.

You can also save your tasks as projects and share it with someone else. Progress in completion of tasks is saved, and you can review it in the form of charts. Todoist also allows integrating with many other popular apps such as Dropbox, Zapier and more. This helps in keeping all your activity and progress in a single platform for review.

Toggl Review

Toggl is another time tracking software used by more than 5 Million users. It is free to use for up to 5 users. The User-interface is very intuitive where you can plan your projects both in a calendar format as well as by creating boards. You can create tasks and checklists for your work. You can also change status based on the completion status of your work.

Through in-task comment feature you can also communicate with your team on your work progress. You can also use the drag and drop feature to move around the created boards. This app is best suitable for teams and helps you make a good plan.

Monday Review

Monday is an enterprise level productivity app that helps in collaboration, organizing and improve your work efficiency. According to their website they have more than 100,000 teams. Valuable brands like CocaCola, Adobe, Universal use this software to plan their work.

The interface accommodates many features keeping simplicity in mind. You can use all the features within a single dashboard. You can also integrate with many popular apps like linkedin, slack, github and more. You can also automate repetitive work and visualize the work progress in the form of charts.

The customer support is also pretty good and it is 24/7. You can use their free 14 day trial to check out the features.

Any.do Review

Any.do is another popular productivity app used by millions of users around the world. It is a simple to use app through which ypu can organize your tasks in the form of lists and reminders. You can also use this app in a calendar format to track your work progress. 

You can use this app across all type of devices such as mobile, laptop, desktop, tablet and watch. Tasks get automatically synced across all your devices.

How to Avoid the 3 Exercise Mistakes Beginners Make

Beginning an exercise routine is one of the smartest and most beneficial things you can do. You’ve only got one body and it has to last a lifetime.

There are lots of misconceptions about how to start. Expectations of how to progress are often out of alignment with reality. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. None of that helps. The hype coming from magazines, online articles, and even the buff guy in the gym locker room, can all mislead.

In this article, we are going to talk about 3 of the most common mistakes that people make. We want you to start off on the right foot and help you find your groove in the gym!

Too Much, Too Soon

It’s likely you will begin with an immense amount of enthusiasm and motivation. You’re ready to get your diet dialed in, throw some weight around and carve out the ideal physique. But this same passion can lead to burn-out before you even get started.

It’s important to realize that you’re making a significant change in your lifestyle. Not only will your body need time to adapt to these new demands, but so will your schedule and mental energy!

A gradual start will be more productive. Don’t completely disrupt your life from day one. Instead of demanding yourself to hit the gym 7 days a week and eat nothing but chicken and rice, start smaller.

Allow yourself a much-needed change period as you begin your fitness journey. Get into the habit of working out 2-3 times per week and being more conscientious of food choices. Get your feet wet first, instead of diving in headfirst. This will prevent you from a crash and burn a month or so later.

Have A Plan

When you join a gym, you can either go solo or use their staff to map out an exercise plan. Use the guided approach unless you have been around a bit and know what you need to do.

Knowing the various machines and exercise classes available gives you the chance to establish a routine that works for you. It also allows you to track your progress. Seeing how far you have come is incredibly motivating.

Giving In To Your Ego

Comparing ourselves to those around us is an unfortunate part of human nature. As you begin working out, it is easy to notice how much weight someone else is lifting, or how cool a particular exercise looks. Realize that every single person in the gym was in the exact same position you are right now at one stage.

Trying to manage too much weight or perform some crazy exercise before you are ready will leave you embarrassed or, even worse, injured.

Believe it or not, the vast majority of people in the gym are not judging you! Gyms need members. They are in the service industry, so should have a welcoming, respectful atmosphere. Most try to encourage and support people of all fitness levels.

Working out, much like any new challenge, has a necessary learning curve. Don’t let your ego put a damper on the enjoyment it can bring or the benefits that follow.


How to Not Overthink – This Challenge Will Improve Your Life

Does your mind ever stop? Do you think too much? Do you want to know how to not overthink? When this happens, we go over the same stuff over and over, and can lose perspective. Then it turns into worry and stress. That is not good!

Overthinking is a big part of the reason so many people get stressed. If you can’t stop your mind from going around and around, it limits your ability to control your life. It uses up a lot of energy and brain matter, so much so that it can crowd out other thoughts. You have no room left, no spare capacity for other thoughts, or more important things.

Related Posts:

The Theory Behind This Challenge

There are three challenges presented here to give your mind a break – and help you to not overthink. If you try them as suggested, your life will improve, and you will have more control over your life.

These challenges will train your mind to give you more control. They involve automating some of the daily decisions you have to make. This removes the inability to make decisions by overthinking it, or by paralysis from analysis.

There are so many tips and articles around on how you can create a better life, and every one of them hinges your total commitment. If you overthink it, you will fail. When you feel you have no capacity for new things, any resolution will fail.

To succeed in establishing new habits, or making changes in your life, you need the desire and discipline to follow through. Changes y will only happen if your will power is up to the task. Whatever strategy or technique you intend using is less important than this.

If you aren’t committed, then it won’t happen. There is no silver bullet.

Why do Most Resolutions Fail?

Most people fail with their resolutions. It might be a gym program, a better diet, reducing your alcohol intake, losing weight, having a better relationship, or being a better person. The list of things people look to change is long and varied, yet many people have been promising themselves the same things for decades without success.

So why can’t you achieve what you set out to? What gets in the way? I’ll give you three reasons:

  1. Lack of conviction – There’s no real urgency or imperative to make the changes. Your thinking goes something like this – “it’s a good idea, but I’m not convinced about it. Deep down I don’t think it’s that important. Yes, I could make some improvements, but really, it’s not that critical.”
  2. Going outside your comfort zone – When this happens you feel scared or unsure about it. You might be able to go there for a day or a week, but it’s a bit scary to make it permanent. There are risks to consider – it might mean a different take on life; you could lose friends or miss some of things you enjoy.
  3. Lack of self-belief – You don’t believe you can make the changes you are thinking about. You decide to give it a little push, but don’t have a lot of confidence in your ability to complete it. You don’t expect to succeed. It’s a relief when you give up and don’t have to try any more.  

If you want to get past these thoughts – or this way of thinking, you need to train your mind first. Take on a short-term task. You don’t need a deep-rooted conviction about this, and the risks associated with it are less, so it’s less scary. Success will boost your self-confidence and give you the belief that you can make the changes you want in your life. You will have trained your mind to be more amenable to change. You will be in more control.

My challenges demonstrate this. They give you a way to get you into the groove a bit tighter. They also give your mind some breathing space, and will reduce your overthinking.

The Challenges

The challenges I propose aim to give your mind a rest by automating some common decision points. They are an easy way to prove to yourself that you are in control of your life. Strangely this occurs when you take your foot off the throttle and put your mind on autopilot.

When you overthink things, you focus on and dissect the changes you are looking to make – and get in your own way. An example of this is giving up smoking. If you tell yourself that you are giving up, you continue to define yourself as a smoker. Your attempt to give up won’t work because of this mental disconnect. It is more effective to stop thinking about it and train your mind to accept it as a done deal – i.e. “I am not a smoker, I don’t smoke”. By not overthinking it, you achieve a new reality more quickly.

There are three challenge exercises. Each of these calls for an automatic response. They each give your mind a break, a bit of free time, so it can focus on other things. Try each one for a month (you can’t do all three at the same time), and see how your brain processing has altered. It will surprise you!

You’ll feel liberated and more in control of your mind. The secret to a more efficient brain is to give it less work. As an example of how full our brains can get, Einstein had a terrible memory. He couldn’t remember his phone number or street address – the filing cabinet of his mind was full of more important data. Stop overthinking, and give your brain a bit of spare capacity.

Automating a part of your life can be fun; it will open new doors and give you a whole new perspective on your life. It may feel risky, but you do have ultimate control.

Of course, taken to the extreme, this can be dangerous, which is why I recommend a one-month trial of each. The results will surprise you! At the end of the month you will most likely incorporate some of this approach into your daily life.

The first challenge is to say yes to everything. The second is to always select the 4th item from the top of a list from which you must make a selection (for instance, a restaurant menu). The third challenge is the opposite of the first – say no to everything.

You can do the first and the second at the same time, but it is better to do them one after the other. It is also important that you do the third challenge (saying no) last.

Challenge # 1 – Say Yes to Everything

Jim Carrey’s popular movie “Yes Man” follows on this concept. The plot involves a recently divorced man who has become withdrawn and negative. He builds a new and more positive life through a series of events where he says yes. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a look.

Of course, if taken to the extreme, this can lead to bizarre and dangerous circumstances, but it’s worth a try for a month. Use some prudential judgement if needed.

By analysing situations less, you open yourself up to new experiences and people. This one-month challenge gives you a taste of what is possible when you let yourself go a little. It is liberating, and could become the start of a new life.

Being more adventurous not only opens your mind, it gives you more confidence and readiness to tackle the world. Your social circle will welcome the new, more approachable you.

Challenge # 2 – Choose 4th From The Top

My second challenge is to choose the 4th item from the top of any list where you have to make a selection. The classic for this is a restaurant menu. Rather than studying it, and worrying about how to make the right selection, choose the 4th item from the top. Your dinner companions will see you as decisive and informed.

I’ve been using this technique for over a decade and a half now, and on only one occasion did it fail me. This was in a French Restaurant in rural France. The menu was in French, a language I do not speak. My plate of offal, enjoyed by the locals, was no to my taste! But only one fail in 15 years is a pretty good statistic! One fail does not ruin the system.

You have to trust the restaurant – they are not going to put something on the menu that patrons are not going to enjoy.

The reason for selecting #4? Well, it won’t be the cheapest and it won’t be the most expensive. There will be no embarrassment by looking either cheap or a show –off. This is very useful for wine lists.

I have applied this to almost any list. If the selection doesn’t make sense you should look immediately above and below for other options. One of those selections will work just as well.

If you discover new tastes – congratulations, you have expanded your horizons, and that is not a bad thing.

Challenge # 3 – Say No to Everything

Most time management books or self-help guides will suggest that you learn how to say no. They mean this to be selective, but it’s easier said than done. Like most things in life, it takes practice.

This exercise gives you that practice. It trains your mind (and friends, associates and so on), to not expect you to do everything asked of you.

I propose that you train yourself by saying no to everything for one month. This could include party invitations, a dinner date, a movie, or assignment at work. If you need to come up with an explanation for this from time to time – make something up. But say no unless you have no choice (which can be the case at work).  Use your personal judgement, let common sense rule the day.

By the end of the month you will be surprised at how easy it is to say no. When you realise this, you will see how liberating this can be. This will give you more control over your life, and free up an enormous amount of time.

It is easy to become overwhelmed by agreeing to do too may things, or by agreeing to do things that we don’t enjoy or want to do. Learning to say no is a very powerful tool in your arsenal to control your life. In practical terms it is not easy, which is why this exercise is for a one-month trial only. Think of it as a Dry July type of challenge.

After a month of this, you’ll find it easier to say no selectively in the future. Take back control.

How To Not Overthink After The Challenge

Completing these three challenges will train your mind and give you more confidence in taking on new things. They will broaden your horizons and give you more control over your life.

After you have completed these challenges, you will have trained your mind to accept or deny requests, and you will have learnt how to trust others. The lessons from these three exercises are applicable in other ways as well. They provide an important lesson and training in learning how to not overthink.


3 Tips to Teach Your Child How to Read

By: ChildrenLearningReading.com 

Learning to read at a young age is important for the development of the child. It helps them develop a better understand of their surroundings, allows them to gather information from printed materials, and provides them with a wonderful source of entertainment when they read stories and rhymes. Children develop at different rates, and some children will develop reading skills quicker than other children; however, what’s important is that as the parent, you are keenly aware of your child’s maturity and reading level to provide them with appropriate books and activities to help them improve.

As parents, you are the most important teacher for your children. You will introduce your child to books and reading. Below we have some tips to help you teach your child to read.

Teach Your Child How to Read Tip #1

Teach your child alphabet letters and sounds at the same time. Studies have shown that children learn best when they are taught the letter names and letter sounds at the same time. In one study, 58 preschool children were randomly assigned to receive instructions in letter names and sounds, letter sound only, or numbers (control group). The results of this study are consistent with past research results in that it found children receiving letter name and sound instruction were most likely to learn the sounds of letters whose names included cues to their sounds. [1]

When teaching your child the letter sounds, have them slowly trace the letter, while saying the sound of the letter at the same time. For example, if you were teaching your child the letter “A”, you would say:

“The letter A makes the /A/ (ah) sound.”

Then have your child say the /A/ sound while tracing the letter with his or her index finger.

Teaching a Child How to Read Tip #2

When teaching your child to read, always emphasize with them that the proper reading order should be from left to right, and top to bottom. To adults, this may seem so basic that anyone should know it. However, our children are not born with the knowledge that printed text should be read from left to right and top to bottom, and this is why you’ll sometimes see children reading from right to left instead – because they were never explicitly taught to read from left to right. When teaching your child how to read, always emphasize this point with them.

Teach Your Child How to Read Tip #3

Teach final consonant blends first. Teaching words such “at” and “and” can lead your child directly to learning words that rhyme with these. For example, for “at”, you can have:

Lat
Pat
Mat
Cat
Sat
Bat
Spat
Chat

For “and”, you can have these rhyming words:

Sand
Band
Land
Hand
Stand
Bland
Brand
Grand
and so on…

You can start teaching blends once your child has learned the sounds of some consonants and short vowel sounds. You don’t need to wait until your child has mastered the sounds of all the letters before teaching blends.

Learning to read is a long process, but it doesn’t have to be a difficult process. Broken down into intuitive and logical steps, a child as young as two years old can learn to read, and older children can accomplish even more.

>> Click here to for a simple, step-by-step program that can help your child learn to read, and watch a video of a 2 year old child reading

Notes:

1. J Exp Child Psychol. 2010 Apr;105(4):324-44. Epub 2010 Jan 25.
Learning letter names and sounds: effects of instruction, letter type, and phonological processing skill.
Piasta SB, Wagner RK.
Preschool Language and Literacy Lab, The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, USA.


How to Recognise What Narcissistic Behavior Is

Narcissistic behaviors come from an excessively high self focus. Having high self-esteem is an essential element in living a successful and happy life, however there is a line that must not be crossed. Knowing what narcissistic behavior is will help you avoid stepping over it and going into the wrong side.

High self-esteem is a positive trait, one that exudes confidence and attracts people to you. But when you become obsessed with yourself, and begin putting your needs and interest above those of everybody else, you become a narcissist. Your behaviors focus on your needs with no regard for others. They have the opposite effect and can cause people seeing you in a negative light. You may get some short-term wins, but many people will be less supportive. This is contrary to the formula of a successful life.

There are many distinctions between high self-esteem and narcissism. While narcissists often (but not always) have a very high opinion of themselves, the link between this and narcissism is unfounded. It is not true that everyone with high self-esteem is a narcissist, or that being narcissistic comes only about having this trait.

Let’s look a little more closely at narcissism to see how it differs from healthy, high self-esteem so we can dispel any lingering myths.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

What is Narcissism?

First up, it is important to recognise that there is a difference between being narcissistic and having a narcissistic personality disorder. The latter is a mental health condition. In this article, we are referencing the general personality trait.

Narcissist behaviors result when you are excessively interested in, or admire yourself. This obsession may be your personality, physical appearance, or both. Some words used to describe narcissistic tendencies include self-obsession, conceit, and egotism. For most people with this attitude, their behavior reflects this. These include acting selfishly, having a lack of empathy towards others, being (or acting) entitled, and having a need for admiration from others.

To classify narcissism as a full personality disorder, the behaviors must be more extreme. In these instances, the behaviors interfere with the person’s ability to lead a healthy life and to have productive relationships with others.

Narcissism and Self-Esteem

A common misconception is that all narcissists have high self-esteem. Most times, the opposite is true. A lack of self-esteem can cause some to seek approval from others and become obsessed with themselves to make up for their lack of self-worth or confidence. Those with high self-esteem might not be narcissistic, because their high self worth is grounded in healthy, productive views of their abilities and value.

While people with high self-esteem often feel confident in their own abilities, narcissists take this a step further and feel superior to others for their talents. To feel superior, you are always comparing yourself to others. This can cause you to put down anyone who threatens your perceived status as being “the best” at something. Those with high self-esteem need not compare themselves, as they are confident in their own capabilities.

Being aware of who you are is one important part of maintaining this balance.

This distinction between self-esteem and narcissism is important. Most self-esteem stems from accomplishments we have achieved, skills we have mastered, and the values to which we adhere. The opposite is true of narcissism. It is based on fear. The fear of being seen as weak or of failing is a driving force. It creates an unhealthy focus on yourself and wanting others to see you as the best. Most narcissists are, at their core, insecure and feel inadequate, which is the opposite of having high self-esteem.

Those who are narcissists will often be envious or hostile toward rivals, while those with high self-esteem most often use compassion and cooperation with others. We can see them as two ends of a spectrum, ranging from dominance (narcissism) to equality (self-esteem).

Final Thoughts

Knowing what narcissistic behavior is allows you to see the difference between these two. This is key to understanding why having high self-esteem is essential and does not mean you will become a narcissist. Wanting to work on your self-esteem is a laudable goal. It should not be deterred by fears of becoming a conceitful monster.

By the way, remember that it’s never too late to take care of yourself, and then you can take care of others.


Surprising Facts About Stress You Need to Know

It’s Only Bad If It’s Bad

The most surprising fact about stress is that it isn’t bad per se. Stress is a normal, natural reaction. Small amounts of stress keep us focussed, alert and productive. It is part of our natural instincts that keep us going forward against adversity ! So a bit of stress in your life is essential while having no stress at all can be a bad thing for your goals. This article aims to help you to focus on keeping your stress levels to a healthy level.

The simple truth is that if we hadn’t developed certain instincts during our evolution, we wouldn’t be here today. Stress is no more than your body’s natural defense mechanism kicking in. It comes when you feel threatened – whether the danger is real or imagined. But it can be overwhelming and prevent us from acting rationally.

To show an example:

Think of the adrenalin rush you get when you realize you’ve slept through your alarm and are now rushing at warp speed to get dressed and catch the bus to work. This is an example of good stress!

But if you’re doing that every morning – then maybe there are other lifestyle issues at play. Or a need for a different alarm clock.

But if your stress levels stop you getting out of bed at all, or going to work – then that’s a different matter. When stress interferes with your daily routine, then it’s a problem ! And you must address it before it goes even further !

Your level of stress will range from having heightened senses to debilitating feelings of anxiety and depression.

Feeling butterflies in your stomach before an exam or a big game? That’s natural stress at work. It boosts the adrenal glands and gets you ready for action. Worried about a work deadline? Again, that’s a normal stress, keeping you focussed, and shutting out distractions.

Most adults experience physical or emotional symptoms of stress at times. As well as raising your alertness, other effects are less productive. These can include headaches, feeling tired, or changes in sleeping habits.

When we suffer these negative stresses it can feel like we have no control, that they can get away from us. If uncontrolled they can dominate your life and turn it upside down, and you don’t want that.

But the surprising fact is that we do have control over these stresses. There are things we can do to manage it. We may not be able to remove it, but we can control it, and prevent it from becoming debilitating.

As we have said, the surprising fact of stress is that it’s only bad if it’s bad. You can manage many stresses before they become destructive. To help you do this, it makes sense to know a little more about the different types of stresses that you may face.

Recognising Different Types of Stress

There are two different ways of classifying stress. The first looks at stress categories – the causes or nature of stress. The second looks at stress severity – the effects of stress and its severity.

Four Categories of Stress

Stress factors fall into four categories:

  1. Physical stress;
  2. Psychological stress;
  3. Psychosocial stress; and
  4. Psychospiritual stress.

Physical stress

Your body experiences physical stress. Overworking or injuring your body to the point it cannot cope causes physical stress. Other common causes include traumatic events, the effect of pollutants, dietary imbalances, or substance abuse.

Psychological stress

Psychological stress relates to emotional or cognitive stress. This includes feelings such as resentment, anger, worry, guilt, self-criticism, anxiety, and a sense of being out of control. It also includes perceptual stress coming from beliefs, attitudes, and the like.

Psycho-social stress

Psychosocial stress comes from relationships. It includes marriage or family problems, work issues, social networks, and financial problems.

Psycho-spiritual stress

Psycho-spiritual stress comes from a questioning of values, meaning or purpose. It is often manifested as a lack of life satisfaction or misalignment with core spiritual beliefs.

Three Levels of Stress Severity

Psychologists recognise 3 types of stress:

  1. Acute stress;
  2. Episodic acute stress; and
  3. Chronic stress.

Acute Stress

Acute stress is usually brief. It is the most common and frequent form of stress. It generally relates to negative thoughts. Examples include dwelling on a recent argument or concerns about an approaching deadline. Removing the cause leads to the stress receding as well.

Episodic Acute Stress

Episodic acute stress is the term used where there are frequent or recurrent stress triggers. This is more common amongst people whose lives are chaotic or crisis-ridden. They are always in a rush or feel pressured. They may take on too many responsibilities but are unable to organise conflicting demands.

Type “A” personalities are more prone to this type of stress. They have a strong competitive streak, with an aggressive nature. Often they have a deep-seated insecurity about performance, and a sense of urgency. These personality traits are more likely to experience episodic acute stress.

The personality type known as the “Worrier” is also more likely to experience episodic acute stress. They have a negative view of the world and tend to see disaster or catastrophe everywhere. They tend to be over aroused and tense, but are more anxious and depressed than angry and hostile.

Chronic Stress

Chronic stress is the most harmful. It can cause significant damage to both physical and mental health.

Chronic stress comes from prolonged negative physical and environmental factors. These include inter-generational unemployment, substance abuse, or a dysfunctional family or childhood. It can set in when a person feels that there is no escape over a prolonged period and gives up hope.

With chronic stress, behaviours and emotional reactions become ingrained. It is a grinding form of stress that wears people down. Chronic stress destroys lives, bodies, and minds. It can lead to a physical and mental breakdown, suicide, violence, heart attack or strokes.

An Approach to Stress Resolution

Another surprising fact about stress is that controlling it is much like any other behavioural change program. It is best achieved by a planned and deliberate approach.

Stress can come on gradually due to life changes, or due to a specific incident or experience. Either way, you shouldn’t let stress stop you from doing things that you used to enjoy.

Managing stress involves making thoughtful and considered, deliberate changes. The idea is that you build habits and attitudes through repetition. Resolving your stress begins with a plan, and the best place to start is to look back at your life before stress.

Investigate what causes your stress and where it comes from. Recognising the source is an essential first step.

Is your stress preventing you from doing things that you enjoyed in the past? It’s natural for stress or a stress disorder to make new things seem scary. But it can also have this effect on experiences that we enjoyed in the past. For example, a slow stress build-up may cause you to not want to spend time with old friends. Or a car accident may make you want to avoid driving or even riding in or being around cars.

It’s important to remind yourself that these were easy or enjoyable in the past. Seeing them from a different perspective now doesn’t change their nature. Even if it was a bad experience for you once in the past, as with the car accident, you should recognise that it was only one of many incidences. Recognise that other times it went well.

If stress is causing issues in your life you will need to make some changes to manage it. Any life changes need a personal commitment. We refer to these as stress resolutions. They spell out the corrective behaviour needed to maintain stress at acceptable levels.

Looking back over the last few years to see where things did and didn’t work out the way you wanted will clarify the changes you want or need to make.

You can make resolutions for almost anything, from weight loss, to learning, to better social interactions. A resolution becomes a commitment to change. And a written resolution is more powerful than a mental note. It acts as a reference point, a motivator and a guide.

The intent of a stress resolution is to help you reduce your stress levels. Make one when you feel that stress is damaging your life.

To make your stress resolutions, begin by planning. Take notes on what troubles you. Identify where your stress is coming from and how you can change this. Make a note of what you want to achieve.

When you focus on potential remedies, consider the impact and difficulty of each. Create resolutions, write them down, and determine the best ways to fulfill all your goals. Then set priorities.

Remember that if you try to do too many things at once you will almost certainly fail. Focus on one thing first. Set a routine and create a habit. Once you establish your routine and it becomes a habit, you can move onto your next item.

Make periodic assessments of your journey. Map your progress. It is inspiring and motivates you to keep going.

One of the surprising facts about stress that we have covered is that you can manage your stress. You will be surprised at how effective it is to set resolutions as a path to change.

That’s it for today. I hope this little article will help you overcome bad stress. Enjoy your journey to a less stressed life!

Related articles that you might want to read: Stress and Anxiety Symptoms to Watch Out For and The Causes of Panic Attack


Revealed – How to Know What a Balanced Life is

The following story reveals what a balanced life is. It is a simple story that shows what the key aspects of life, and how we can balance our lives by being aware of priorities and perspective.

We can all learn from this simple story.

Photo by willsantt from Pexels

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff.

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‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house, fix the disposal or deal with things from your job.

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Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’

The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers with a friend.


How to Take Care For Yourself – Make Your Needs First

If you are serious that you want to take care for yourself – you have to start by taking control of the things around you. No more worrying about the million distractions you get every day. If it seems that everyone and everything is after a piece of you – it’s time to put a stop to it. Take control. Make sure to take care for yourself first. If you don’t, you’ll get stressed about how to cope, and the stress will create problems for you both physically and mentally.

There’s no point in giving ‘till you break. You might think it’s required or expected of you. It might feel noble, or the right thing to do. But a positive life is about balance. And if you become unbalanced because you’re doing too much for others and not enough for yourself, well, that just doesn’t make sense, does it?

If you are sacrificing your time for work, missing out on your own interests for those friends, or your sleep because of others, then you aren’t taking care for yourself. Your well-being and happiness are at stake.

Where Do I Draw the Line?

Life is full of compromises, so what are the signs that I’m neglecting my own needs more than I should?

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Consider how you spend your days. Keeping a journal for a month or so can be enlightening. Note where your time goes, and what parts are things you want to do, and what are to keep others happy. Naturally enough, work takes up a big chunk of time – but does it override everything else? How much of your thinking time does it dominate? Can you get away from it or is it all-consuming?

How often do you instigate activities with friends? How often are you simply following their lead? And how do you feel about this? Note that following others can be OK – it all depends on whether you feel you have no control, or that everyone else’s needs are met before your own. If you have time for the things that interest you, then your life is probably in balance.

If on the other hand, you feel desperately in need of a break, if you feel fatigued, weakened or drained, chances are you haven’t been giving your own needs enough priority. In that case, it’s time you started to put yourself first occasionally.

How Do I Take Control and Care For Myself

The way you interact with others are life habits. They are learned, and can be unlearned.

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First up is the feeling of selfishness you might get when you put your needs first. That is often a feeling that you have, that others don’t share. It is selfish if your needs come first all the time, but not when you keep a balance.

If you don’t take care for yourself, you will be less able to help others. A strong, happy and well-adjusted person is more productive, and better company for friends and family than a stressed out, weak or debilitated shell of a person.

Be sure to give yourself some time for rest, reflection or hobbies. Be confident enough to give yourself a priority at times. Resist the urge to take on more than you can comfortably handle. Take a break from time to time to recharge. Get takeout instead of cooking, have a night in, go to bed early, read a book, go on a holiday – whatever you need.

Set some boundaries on what you will do and let your friends and work colleagues know what these are. They will respect you for them and respect the boundaries.

Your body is a terrific early warning device. Listen to it. If you feel lousy, then do something about it. Look for the source. If you feel stressed out, isolate the reason why and act on it. If you feel physically depleted, take a break, check your diet and consider exercise to build your body’s strength and resilience. If you feel emotionally exhausted, take some time for yourself to regroup and relax.

Your well-being is dependent on how you take care for yourself.

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Reduce the noise. Take time away from social media, the news cycle and work emails. Try binge streaming to replace all the other stimulants screaming for attention.

Stop putting everything first before your own needs. It’s not selfish to take some time for self-care. You’ll be a more relaxed, happier and more productive person. This new person will be more appreciated by your family, your friends, your boss and co-workers. Even those around you on your daily commute will feel a little better when all that tension you’ve been emanating disappears.

Taking care for yourself by not neglecting your own needs is a win win for everyone.

25 Powerful Ayn Rand Quotes That Will Make a Winner Out of You

We have selected 25 of the most powerful quotes from Ayn Rand as a guide to living a strong life. She was a hero to many baby boomers through the 1960’s, 1970’s and 1980’s. These quotes summarise the key aspects of her Objectivism philosophy.

The post-war economic growth and prosperity engendered a generation wanting a new societal structure. The rationalist ideas proposed by Rand echoed their hopes and aspirations. Her philosophy of self-determination was embraced widely as it tapped directly into American ideals of freedom, hard work and individualism. 

It resonated with the new social freedoms and mobility the boomers were hoping for. These amounted to a revolutionary tide which swept through America and other countries. The 25 Ayn Rand quotes below are a guide to living a life of self-determination.

Objectivism

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand


Ayn Rand’s philosophy was spelt out in her two best-selling books, both considered modern day classics – The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. The latter is considered her magnum opus. She described Atlas Shrugged’s theme as “the role of the mind in man’s existence—and, as a corollary, the demonstration of a new moral philosophy: the morality of rational self-interest.”

The philosophy of objectivism holds four key principles:

1. Objective reality – this holds that aside from our own perceptions, there is a true reality happening, whether anyone sees them or not. The only way we know we exist is in relation to that reality; our existence is defined by the capacity to observe reality.

2. Absolute reason – there’s no room for emotions or faith, only facts should guide people.

3. Individualism – the individual should be empowered above everything else. A man who can embrace the logic and reason of an objective reality is the most powerful figure. And if a man is able to do that, he should only ever act in his own self-interest.

4. Laissez-faire capitalism – where the economy is completely unregulated and separate from the government. This allows powerful Objectivists to do all they can in order to improve their own standing, while not violating the rights of other people.

You will get a feeling for her philosophy from these selected quotes. They remain very powerful motivators and moral guides. If you haven’t read her books, we recommend them. They are thought-provoking and belong in everyone’s library.

Quotes About Living Your Life from Ayn Rand.

We have grouped our selected quotes into three categories:

  • The power of the individual
  • The power of thought
  • How you interact with others

Quotes About The Power of the Individual

1. “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”

2. “Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.”

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3. “I can accept anything, except what seems to be the easiest for most people: the half-way, the almost, the just-about, the in between.”

4. “Freedom: To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”

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5. “The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”

6. “I guard my treasures: my thought, my will, my freedom. And the greatest of these is freedom.”

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7. “Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” 

8. “Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision.” 

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 9. “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.” 

 10. “The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” 

11. “Do not let your fire go out. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, and have never been able to reach. The world you desired can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it is yours.” 

Quotes About the Power of Thought

12.  “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.” 

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13. “Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose.”

14. “Worry is a waste of emotional reserve.” 

15. “To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that’s real power.” 

16. “If you don’t know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.” 

17. “Every man is free to rise as far as he’s able or willing, but the degree to which he thinks determines the degree to which he’ll rise.” 

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 18. “Man survives by adjusting his background to himself.” 

19. “Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think.” 

20. “Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants.” 

Quotes About Interacting With Others

21. “Everyone has the right to make his own decisions, but none has the right to force his decision on others.” 

22. “Any alleged right of one man, which necessitates the violation of the rights of another isn’t and can’t be a right.”

 23. “The man who lets a leader prescribe his course is a wreck being towed to the scrap heap.” 

24. “A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”

25. “An individualist is a man who says: I will not run anyone’s life – nor let anyone run mine. I will not rule nor be ruled. I will not be a master nor a slave. I will not sacrifice myself to anyone – nor sacrifice anyone to myself.”

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We hope that these Ayn Rand quotes will inspire you to greater things. They ask a lot of the individual, but with a strong moral compass and self belief, they will help to keep you on track. They remind us of what is important in life, and how you should act if you are to be a winner.


How to be More Productive in Life

Imagine what rewards can come your way if knew how to be more productive in your life. It takes a bit of discipline, but everyone can do it. When you are more productive, you do more. It’s like having a second pair of hands. It’s pretty straightforward maths – you do more, you get more back.

The big secret is to be focussed, be very clear about where you’re going and what’s most important for you. Following on from this, you need a process to clear the clutter, so you can tackle those big, important bits that will get you to where you want to be.

Productivity is the amount of something produced from a given number of inputs. Higher productivity means more production. Time is the limiting factor here.

It means that your own productivity is the amount of stuff you get done in a day. To get more done, you need to be more productive. And isn’t that exactly what your boss wants? Isn’t it what you want, to be successful?

If you don’t want to read the whole article – here’s the gist of it. To improve your productivity you have to be more focussed. Once you decide what’s most important, make sure you have enough time dedicated to those tasks. Don’t get swamped by the small stuff. It’s really that simple.

If the secret to being more productive in your life is to be more focussed on what’s most important, you need to know what that is.

It’s always good to start at the finish. What are your goals? What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to end up? What are the activities or things that will move you closer to this?

It all starts with your to-do list. Let me guess – it’s big, right? And you know you can’t do everything on it. I’ve got about 3 months’ worth of activity on mine, it’s a weakness that I can think up more cool stuff to do than I have time for. But I treat this like a reminder. I know most of it will be there for a while and will be pushed onto the backburner. Sometimes priorities change, and what was just a good idea becomes more useful.

The trick to being more productive is to do more of the important bits and less of the others. Let them ride.

It’s easy to tackle the urgent, more insistent things first. Usually, these are not too hard to deal with, so by doing them first, you’ll have more time. We try to get them out of the way to reduce the noise, thinking this will help our focus. But then what happens? More small stuff turns up. It too demands attention. Somehow we get stuck on the treadmill and never quite get to the bigger, more important things. This short story is a beauty for understanding life balance. I thoroughly recommend. you read it.

When this happens, it feels like you’ve lost control. You’re spiralling down in a vortex to nothing. You can feel like you don’t have a chance to make progress towards your goals. This is dispiriting, but you can beat it!

In this article, I’m going to give you a few tips about how to be more focussed, which will lift your productivity.

Being busy is not the same as being productive

Being busy and on the go all the time does not mean you will achieve your goals. You are only productive when you are achieving your goals. Just because you are in constant motion doesn’t mean you are progressing towards your goals. Constant movement is not productive.

How many times do you get to the end of the day and feel like you have achieved nothing? It doesn’t feel great, does it?

To state the bleeding obvious, improved productivity comes from better time management.

My wife talks about the time she spends on Facebook as “going down the rabbit hole”. It’s too easy to spend a working day like this. Remember that there are only 24 hours in a day. Try to avoid the rabbit holes.

You also only have so many days alive in which to achieve the things you want. Time is not a limitless resource. Use it well – or lose it.

Being more productive is about how you use that time. And there are only two ways you can get more done. Only two ways you can be more productive.

The first (which I do not recommend) is to use more of your 24 hours working. Lots of people try this – less sleep, less social time, few or no hobbies, and little time for relaxation. Of course, it depends on how ambitious you are. For superstardom, these are the prerequisites. But it doesn’t have to be for everyone. Life balance is important.

The second is to work smarter – get more done in the time you do have. That’s what we want to talk about today.

It means more time spent focussing on the big, important things. Don’t let the small stuff consume you. You are better than that and deserve more.

Managing this is not that difficult. But it does take discipline. And focus.

The Three Secrets to Success

Secret #1 – Progressing towards something

First up, you need to have clear goals of what you want to achieve. If you don’t know what the big, important things are, you can’t focus on achieving them.

Two of my favourite quotes are:

“if you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there”; and

Alice in Wonderland

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else” .

Yogi Berra

To make sure you don’t waste this precious resource, focus on what is important to your life. Being more productive means being more focussed. Stay focussed on where you want to get to.

Yes, to be successful you will have to work hard. But do it on the things that will get you where you want to be.

Secret #2 – Thinking your way through

Tackling big goals requires a series of smaller steps. To climb to the top of Everest, you need to make sure you have the skills, fitness, and financial capacity. Then you have to get to Base Camp before you start your climb.

Think through the big goals and break them into smaller, achievable pieces. Keep track of your progress so you know you’re getting there. Nothing succeeds like success, and achieving the smaller bits keeps you motivated.

Working hard without direction or focus can be a waste of valuable time and energy. Always consider your “why” before you schedule your time.

Consider how you currently spend your time and how you can be more efficient. Keep a journal for a week and record how you spend your time. In particular note how much time you spend on non-productive activity. Note how much to your longer-term goals.

This is a useful activity once or twice a year. Every time I do this, I am surprised at how much I have slipped into non-productive activity. It is a useful exercise to refocus yourself.

Then take a hard look at your to-do list and trim out the crap. Delegate or reassign where possible. Eliminate fringe tasks. Ask yourself “what will happen if this doesn’t get done.” If the answer isn’t much, then let it go.

Focus on the important, life-building activities. This is how to be more productive in life.

Secret #3 –Achieving a productive life balance

Rate each item on your to-do list for urgency and impact (or importance). Knowing that you’re not likely to do everything on your list, be selective about which items you will do. Urgent items need attention, but don’t let them consume all your time. Schedule enough time to make progress on the important things. Achieving impact will move you towards your goals much faster.

I find that spending the first hour or so of my day on the urgent, but easy to do things helps. There is a sense of achievement that gives me a more positive frame of mind for the day.

It reduces the size of my list and stops smaller items from becoming problematic later. There is less noise and worry of things pulling at my mind. By removing the noise and worry about these items, I am more focussed.

I find that by doing this I can concentrate my mind and energy on the bigger, more important tasks. This in turn makes me more productive.

The big secret to a successful and productive life is balance. OK, it sounds simple, but it is harder to manage than you think. Being aware of what is important and what is not is the starting point. Staying true to these priorities takes constant management.

Balance means nurturing every aspect of who you are, and of your life. There will be times when you need to dedicate yourself to one task. Make sure that this is a temporary need. Don’t let it dominate your life. Give it a time frame. When this time is over, regain balance by nurturing the other aspects of your life.

So if you want to be more productive in your life, remember that balance is the key. Remember that success is multi-faceted, and you need to give all aspects a chance to flourish.


Stress and Anxiety Symptoms to Watch Out For

Stress and anxiety is something we all deal with daily. There are many symptoms of stress and anxiety to watch out for. They are not all bad. Think of these symptoms as early warning signs. If you are aware of them, you are better able to manage their causes. This will stop your stress levels from becoming debilitating.

Stress is a natural reaction in our bodies. It derives from the fight or flight reaction hard-wired into us as an essential part of our evolution.

There are many different levels of stress, some quite natural daily signs which tell us to be alert. If we ignore them, they may continue to escalate. And that is when problems arise.

Excessive stress causes all manner of health problems, and can even be a killer.

Keeping an eye on your stress levels is common sense, but unfortunately, common sense does not always prevail.

We have listed the most common symptoms of stress and anxiety. Take a few moments to reflect on whether you are experiencing any of these, and how severe the symptoms are. How long have you been aware of them?

If any of these are elevated or have been with you over a long period, it is time to think about doing something about it. Tackle the underlying cause it spirals out of control.

The solutions for this are many and varied and beyond the scope of this article. Our purpose here is to have you look at your stress and anxiety symptoms to see if they need addressing.

Common Stress and Anxiety Symptoms


Unexplained Aches And Pain About The Body

A little pain here and there is normal and is nothing to get worried about unless it occurs too often. The trend is a key indicator. Is it new or recurrent over a long period? Does it fluctuate with stressful situations?

Muscular pains usually occur around the back, neck, or shoulder areas. These might result from poor posture, especially when doing computer-based work. Other causes include poor sleep patterns. Medication to treat the pain many only yield temporary relief, and should not be a long term solution.

Frequent Colds And Infections

High stress levels have a negative effect on your immunity.

As your body perceives stress, your adrenal glands make and release the hormone cortisol into your bloodstream. Often called the “stress hormone,” cortisol causes an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure. It’s your natural “flight or fight” response that has kept humans alive for thousands of years.

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With elevated stress levels cortisol production increases. This in turn suppresses your immune system, making your body more open to infection. This can be especially troublesome during flu season. One precaution you can take is to increase your intake of anti-oxidant foods such as berries, nuts, and green leafy vegetables.

Poor Sleep Patterns

When overstressed your sleep patterns are amongst the first early warning signs. Insomnia and difficulty sleeping are common indicators. Cortisol recruits the neurochemicals adrenalin and noradrenalin, which enhance awareness, and energy levels. This is another aspect of the fight or flight reaction.

Having a decent dose of ‘get up and go’ attitude is useful in the mornings, but not at night when you should be unwinding. Any stimulants such as coffee will exacerbate this, so you should be careful about these later at night.

High Blood Pressure

High blood pressure is another sign of stress and anxiety to watch for. This adds strain on your heart and blood vessels, increasing your risk of heart attack or stroke.

It can also be a cause of heart and kidney disease and some forms of dementia.

Loss Of Sex Drive

Stress will reduce your levels of testosterone. This in turn impacts your sex drive, in both men and women. Remember how much more sex you had the last time you went on holiday? Cortisol and testosterone have are inversely correlated. As your cortisol levels go up, your testosterone (and sex drive) go down.

Frequent Outbursts Or Mood Swings

When you are highly stressed, there is a higher chance are that you will lash out at anyone who irritates you. If you find yourself subject to this type of outburst, or subject to wild mood swings, this indicates that something is out of balance.

This is not normal behavior, especially if you are generally level headed. It is another symptom of stress and anxiety. It may be best to reduce your work load and spend more time with family and loved ones to give you a chance to relax.

Depression Or Feelings Of Inadequacy

It can be difficult to maintain positive self-esteem when you have high levels of stress. Stress will affect your emotional well-being and can decimate relationships with loved ones or colleagues. You are likely to be irritable, pick fights, or feel pressure to perform.

If you are feeling inadequate and begin questioning yourself, you may want to consider your stress levels. One of the most telling symptoms of stress and anxiety is reduced self-worth. This can lead to depression, anxiety, or feelings of disappointment.

Conclusion

If you experience one or more of these symptoms of stress and anxiety, the first thing to do is to reflect on your life. Take a step back and consider the frequency and severity of these symptoms.

With what frequency are they recurring? Can you make an association with your workload or any personal issues you may be facing?

Perhaps it is time to make some changes in your life. Reduce the burden you carry. Maybe a short break will defuse it. You might only need a short vacation, weekend getaway, or a simple trek in the great outdoors. Or you might need a larger change.

Only you will be able to determine which solution will work best. The important thing is to keep a check on these symptoms of stress and anxiety. Remain vigilant and be conscious of the impact they are and can have, on your life.

Let us know what stress is doing to you, and how you are handling it. It’s a common problem, and the more we discuss it, the better able we are to deal with it.

Feel free to ask me any questions you might have. I read all comments and answer all questions.

Kate Young – Well-Being Writer for SuccessToro.com


How to Create Your Own Life by Being Aware of Who You Are

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

Socrates

We all want to be better. You want to create your own life. But we all have a different form of better. The life you want to live is different from the life that others want to live. Personal growth means different things to each of us. The common element of personal growth is that you must work on yourself.

The choices you make throughout your lifetime will determine the type of life you lead.  Your choices are reflective of the person you are, and who you will become.  It is possible to direct those choices to create a better life. Incredible rewards come to those who make the right choices and work on making changes.

To change as a person, you need to identify what changes you want.  Before you can aim at the finish, you need to know your starting point.  Your journey begins with self-examination.

It continues by accessing the personal power that exists within us all. This power gives you the discipline to enforce the changes you need to make to create your life the way you want it. This will define your relationships, sense of fulfillment, and general happiness.

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Carl Jung

Related Posts:

Personal Awareness

The first step in your journey of personal growth is personal awareness. The more you know about yourself the better. Unfortunately, we don’t always look at ourselves in depth. We have a tendency to overlook our deficiencies. An honest appraisal provides the groundwork of change.

This stimulates ideas about what changes you see as part of your personal growth. What to build on and what to overcome.

A good place to start is with the things that you are good at. The things that make you shine as a person. List down the things you like about yourself. Include your best skills or talents.  Think also about your passions.

Then write down your weaknesses and the strengths you have as a person.

This gives a good picture of the person you are. To create your own life you need to know who you are now.

Thinking About the Life You Want

A good place to start thinking about the sorts of changes you want to make is to consider the regrets you have. Study them to see if you could have prevented them or acted in a different way. If there were other options you did not take, why did you act the way you did? Was it part of your inner programming? Is this changeable?

The next step is the see yourself as others do. How do other people describe you? Is that consistent with the way you see yourself? Is it consistent with the life you want?

Guiding Thoughts

Our perceptions and thoughts guide our actions. We all have insecurities and fears of differing levels. Being aware of them leads us to better choices. Think about your insecurities.

There are things in life that we have power over, and things that we do not. Think about the things you can and can’t control. Excessive worry over the things we cannot control is not productive. It wastes a lot of energy. Focus on the things you have control over.

Your values and motivations guide your reactions to events. Once again, an awareness of these gives you a better ability to create your own life, the way you want it. When thinking about this, dwell on the things that bring you joy, and the things that make you sad.

Your dreams and your goals in life point the way to the life you want. Think about what it is that stopping you from achieving these.

Self Esteem

If you don’t think you are good enough, chances are that you won’t be. You have to overcome this. Achievement comes in small steps. You are always good enough to make the next step. Positive self esteem is essential to personal growth.

You must care for yourself, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Think about how well you do this, and how you can be better at it.

Envy of others is common. But it implies a low sense of self worth. It is one thing to hold up another person as a role model to emulate. It is another thing to be jealous or feel that you are not as good.

Think about the things that frighten you. What do you get anxious about? What do you get frustrated by? Are there clues in this about the changes you would like to make to create a better life.

Relationships

You don’t live in a vacuum. The people in your life are critical to your quality of life. People with strong personal relationships live longer, happier lives.

Consider the strengths of your relationships. Who are the supportive, positive people in your life? And how do they make your life better? Consider also the negative influences in your life. Is there anything you can do about these people?

List the Changes You Want

Now that you have conducted a thorough inventory of your life, make a list of the changes you would like to make.

To stop this being overwhelming, make a list of the barriers you are likely to face in making these changes. Try to set some priorities. Remember that life is a journey. You need to have a destination in mind, but it is the journey itself that is most important.

Create small steps that are achievable, and build on these. To get from 1 to 100, the first step is to get to 2. Then you aim at 3 or 5.

As you go through these steps, celebrate your success along the way. This will reinforce your motivation for change. Following these suggestions will help you to create your own life. They will help you live life on your own terms. Live the life you want.